Want A Relationship In 2020? Here’s How to Make it Happen!

relationship in 2020

Want a Relationship in 2020?

Here’s How to Make it Happen!


You have decided that you want a relationship in 2020, but you just don’t know how!

In the past, you have tried randomly swiping, hoping you will magically find your person, yet didn’t. Nothing worked out and it leaves you wondering what you can do this year.

One thing that is clear – you don’t want to spend  2020, yet another year being single! It is one new year’s resolution that you  absolutely want to make happen.

Congratulations for acknowledging what you want in 2020. That’s an important start.

To get the results you desire it’s important to start 2020 with the right mindset and set some focussed intentions for love.

It is time to imagine being in that wonderful loving relationship with someone who adores and respects you. With that special person who makes your life better. When you do this you are likely to manifest the relationship you want.

 Here’s the how to……

8  Steps to Take to  Get a Relationship in 2020


Step 1:  Set Intentions in 2020

It is important to set a clear intention about what you want. I see many singles say they want to find love, year after year yet they are not clear about what they want, nor do they take the action needed to make this happen. Therefore, they remain single.

You need to know what you want and I am not talking about the superficial stuff. Start to visualise how you want to feel in a relationship and what it looks like. Are you looking for marriage? Do you want travel and adventure or to settle down and have a family? Take your time to be clear about what you want and write it down.

Intentions give you the structure to set priorities that give you the relationship you want. They allow you to use your time wisely rather than wasting time on people who don’t work for you.


A strong, positive, and energised intention will repel what isn’t aligned and attract what is.

Meaning you will stop mindlessly swiping, or accepting someone who either doesn’t want the same things as you or who doesn’t value you!


Step 2: Mindset The New Sexy!




I recently posted this picture on Facebook and it was an extremely popular post. However, it doesn’t just apply to men, it applies to women as well!

Someone who has dealt with their sh*t and is in a healthy place is dead SEXY in 2020.

When you have a positive way of looking at the world and you are confident,  you will be magnetic and attractive to everyone.


It is time to ditch worrying what everyone thinks about you and lose the fear that stops you taking action. Instead embrace a positive, confident mindset, it starts with you!


Make the commitment to optimism and possibility rather than how you feel on any given day. I love the saying that – you will see it when you believe it! It is time to believe in the possibility even when you don’t see the results you are looking for. Be open, available and receptive and get beyond any triggered feelings that may come up.


Step 3: Start with Yourself in 2020

The key to success is to realise that it all starts with you and being in a healthy place when you start dating. Like attracts like and if you have not dealt with some of your previous wounds you are more likely to attract a woundmate rather than a soulmate.

If you want to have an amazing happy partner then you will need to be happy with yourself. You attract a partner at the level you are at.

Loving and valuing yourself is not a destination, rather something you do every day. When you are able to value yourself, you are then able to attract someone who is also able to value and respect you.

Valuing yourself is the key to finding a healthy relationship in 2020.

If you are unable to accept yourself, you will continually be looking for someone to make you feel ok, someone to validate you and fill up your blank spaces.

Know and accept yourself, rather than being what anyone else wants you to be. When you know who you are – the good, the bad and the ugly (everyone has a mix of all) you are able to build a strong base of communication. You can do this as you know your strengths as well as being able to admit your weakness/faults. This sets the foundations of a successful relationship that you will always be able to learn and grow through.

Step 4: Do You Meet Your Own Standards?

Singles can have high standards of the type of person they want to meet in the superficial world of dating. So, I want to ask you if you meet your own standards? I have seen it all, singles who are overweight specifying that they want someone slim, or the single who is unfit wanting someone super healthy. Be the type of person who you want to attract.

It is important to be the best version of you possible! To attract the best, be the best.

Do you have unrealistic expectations? I don’t believe for a moment that anyone should ‘settle’. However, people are often only looking at the superficial stuff that they won’t’ settle for. Things like how someone looks, where they live, age, height, size, education, profession, etc. They often don’t even meet the criteria they set as a minimum requirement for the other person.

Men seem like they are looking for the Elle McPherson/Mila Kunis lookalike who is kind, intelligent, with no baggage, who is drama free, who is warm and who lives 5-10 km from their house. 

Women seem like they are looking for the Brad Pitt/Chris Hemsworth lookalike who lives 5-10kms from them, who is intelligent, well-educated, financially secure, baggage-free and has a sense of humour. 

Many people have such impossibly high standards (that they can’t even meet) that what they are looking simply doesn’t exist!  In fact, they would have more luck finding a unicorn.

When it comes to not settling, make it about the important stuff rather than the physical traits or superficial stuff!

Make sure that you don’t settle for someone who is mean, stingy, grumpy, unkind, who treats you badly, or who doesn’t meet your needs.

People are surprising and you should always focus on how someone makes you feel! I know that the good-looking person stops looking so great when they treat you badly! Remember attraction can grow as you get to know someone. In fact, research has shown when you are friends with someone first, you will rate them as hotter than if you just randomly met them.

Step 5:   Balance!

Letting Love happen or Looking for it? It’s a mix between the two and it is all about balance! I am sure you have heard the common cliché – Love will happen when you least expect it?

Yet for many singles, it just doesn’t happen! In fact, a Mathematician estimated the chances of finding love by chance on any given day is 1 in 562! She found that the chances of winning the lottery are higher at 1 in 55. When you leave it to chance you usually end up with what whoever you meet at the time or nobody at all.

If you want to get fit and healthy or want a certain job, you don’t leave it to chance. You do what it takes to meet your goals. Finding the right relationship is no different. 

Having a healthy balance is important.

It can be easy to become ‘desperate’ and too focused on the outcome of being in a relationship that you end up repelling other singles. Or you could get caught up in the Scarcity Trap of thinking that it is rare to find someone you want to date, so when you do meet someone you like, doing anything to keep them. 

Alternatively, you could have very narrow, specific requirements that made you closed to possibility and potential partners who would be perfect for you. All this does is cause you continual disappointment when you don’t meet anyone who matches your super-specific ‘ideal fantasy person’.

Trust yourself, trust the process and be calm. What is meant for you will NOT pass you, so relax and breathe. What you need is the perfect mix of anticipation, keeping focused on what you want, with the ability to let it go.

You need to have the anticipation, without getting caught up in negative and impatient thoughts about why love isn’t here now. This might sound like a contradiction but it isn’t.

Step 6. Ways to Meet in 2020

I am sure everyone has advice for you about where to meet your person! Maybe your friend met someone on Bumble or a friend of a friend got set up on a blind date or your ex met someone at speed dating. There are so many different ways you can meet other singles and there is no one place or right way to find love. Everyone is unique and what worked for friend, won’t always work for you.

People can and do meet people anywhere and everywhere.

Don’t place all your eggs in one basket, rather try a mix of approaches.  This could be going out to a bar, joining a Meetup group, going to singles events, trying a new class or doing online dating! You need to get out of the house to meet someone and dating is a numbers game, which means the more people you meet the more likely you are to meet the right person.

Be open and present to possibility wherever you are. Make eye contact and talk to the cute single in the café while you are waiting for your coffee. Get off your phone and smile at the people around you.

Step 7: Take Breaks 

There are bound to be challenges along the way in 2020. Maybe you met someone you liked and they didn’t turn out to be who you thought you were. Or you met someone who you thought was the one but they weren’t looking for the same things as you.

You may feel disheartened or frustrated that you aren’t meeting the type of person that you want. But, no matter what happens keep your intention and vision of the love you want in the forefront of your mind. Have faith. This is the ability to move beyond your doubts, knowing that what you want is out there for you.  There will always be bumps in the road to love.  These are normal and there certainly isn’t anything wrong with you.

Make sure you take breaks along the way, just like you would when you are doing anything in your life. The break allows you to come back with a fresh, optimist mindset.

Step 8: Upgrade Your Skills 

For most things in life, you will take the time to learn the skills to get what you want. In school you studied all the main subjects like English, Maths, Science, Social Studies, Sports, Home Economics, Woodwork and Metalwork yet what about love and relationships?


Dating and relationships require a specific skill set and it is important to update your skills to get the results that you want. It is all about being able to connect with someone in a way that will build the attraction between you.

The good news is that dating is a skill that can be learnt.

To get the results you want it takes knowing what will build attraction and what will kill it. You will also need the skill to be able to communicate what you want and need in a way that they can hear you and also be able to hear them. This will allow you to attract the right person into your life and have the relationship you had always imagined.


I know it can feel tough, but I am here to support finding love in 2020.


Here’s to your success.

Debbie x



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