The Secret you Should Know to Succeed in Dating

Secret to winning

The Secret you need to know about how to win in the dating world.

Dating can be tough and my mission is to make it easier for you and I want to let the ladies in on a secret that will help.

It all starts with an example I saw on a dating show! Watching dating shows is an occupational hazard as a Dating/Relationship Coach. It is all about seeing how people act, what works and what doesn’t work.

On an episode of First Dates a girl in her 20’s  insisted on paying for their dinner as she wanted to ‘treat’ the guy she was on a date with. The guy didn’t like the idea at all. When he was interviewed after the date he said the reason he didn’t like the gesture was because it made him feel unmanly. 

This episode highlights what I want to talk about and it is the secret of what men are looking for and how they think. 

The Secret

Men love to make the woman they are with happy.

In fact, he wants to be successful pleasing YOU. When you don’t let him,  like the girl in First Dates,  you  take away that chance of feeling manly!

When a guy feels manly around you it increases the attraction he feels for you, it makes him feel good.

Everyone wants to feel good.

When you don’t give him the chance to make you happy it doesn’t feel good for him and decreases the attraction he feels you.

Men and Women Think Differently

Men and women think differently and the secret is to understand this. Often opposites attract.  Women fall into the trap of treating men how they would treat a woman or how they would want to be treated. However, doing this just doesn’t work.

So many women I coach fall into this trap! They end up giving too much too soon. They organise the dates or offer to cook for the guy on the first date. Men will happily accept and even like this but it doesn’t give him the chance to make you happy and in turn grow his attraction to you.

When you understand how men think it will set you apart in the dating world.

When you allow a guy to give to you, he feels manly. Being a woman, a man feels good around isn’t a betrayal of your power as a woman.  In fact, it is the opposite.

The simple truth is that men don’t want to date the female equivalent of themselves.

A man ‘s feelings and attraction for you will grow if he can make you happy – he loves how that feels. It keeps him interested and it taps into his competitive side and the need to win.

That is something you want – a man who wants to make you feel good!

Over giving

When you give too much too soon you take that away from him. It will lesson or even kill his attraction to you.

When a man feels completely satisfied because you are going all out to please him there is no distance for him to pursue you. Distance makes the guy like you more. If you don’t allow that distance the man can start to lose interest.

Too much intimacy, too quickly makes a woman needy and will make a man pull away.

Men show they are into you by their actions – they love to give. Let them.

Giving comes in many forms – they might like to fix something for you or help you in some way or treat you to dinner.



One word of warning, though, when he does something for you don’t fall into the trap of criticising him. You may be able to do something faster or better than him but don’t.

One final word of warning no man likes a woman who expects him to do everything without appreciation. It is important to appreciate what he does for you and this is simple – say thank you and how good it make you feel.

Men do look at the woman they are dating to see it he is actually able to make her happy. If he feels he can’t keep her in the lifestyle she is accustomed to he may well back away.

It is also one of the reasons a man will leave a woman if nothing he does is good enough.

Now you know the secret!

Debbie x

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