No.1 Reason Why Looking for Someone To Complete You Doesn’t Work

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No.1 Reason Why Looking for Someone To Complete You Doesn’t Work

Are you looking for someone who will finally make you happy, you know to ‘complete’ you?

Do you find yourself saying you will be happy when?  Happy when you get that job, happy when you go on a trip, happy when you finish a project, happy when you meet the right person.

If you answered yes, this could be where you are going wrong in your search for a happy relationship.

In fact, one of the biggest myths around is that when you find the ‘one’- your soulmate you will finally be complete.

Expecting someone else to be responsible for your happiness or to make you complete is a recipe for disaster! No one will fix your life or complete you!  It has to start with you and research backs that up!

Did you know that research has found that you are much more likely to find a happy relationship when you are happy yourself?

This study was based on big data set – 11,196 couples and they found that there were three questions they asked that determined the happiness of couples:

  • “John, were you satisfied with your life before you met Sally?”

  • “John, were you free from depression before you met Sally?”

  • “John, did you have a positive effect before you met Sally?”

The researchers discovered that the people who answered yes to these questions were much more likely to be happy in their relationship.

They found that people who were happy with their lives had a positive outlook and were free of depression before they met their person was likely to be happy in their relationship as well!

If you want a happy relationship you need to be happy first!

It is time to stop saying you will be happy WHEN and go out and create the life that makes you happy.

Discovering who you are you, your purpose and what makes you happy is the key to finding the right relationships for you!

Happy people look for people who will add value to their lives and don’t just choose someone to be with because they feel it is better than being alone.

Happy people who have worked on themselves are definitely the new sexy!  They are so much more attractive to EVERYONE around them.

So how do you work on being happy so you get that great relationship?

You might want to also read, Why Trying New Experiences Makes you More Attractive.

How to be Happy Single without Looking for Someone to Complete You!

 

1. Accept Yourself

Every relationship you have starts with the relationship you have with yourself. If you can’t accept yourself then it is hard to believe that anyone else will accept you. Accepting yourself comes from within. It is something you do daily and not necessarily a place you arrive at. I always work with my clients to accept themselves first because it makes a big difference. If you can’t afford to work with a coach I have put together an online program to work through at your own pace –  Learn How to Love Yourself. 

2. Let Go of the Baggage

So many singles go from one relationship that doesn’t work out to the next. Each time they collect a little more baggage that gets in the way of their own happiness the next time around. That could be carrying around hurts, having trust issues because someone has cheated on you or even stuff that came from your childhood.

To have a happy relationship it is important to take the time to do the ‘healing work’ first even though that is uncomfortable and tough. It is a powerful step that I help my clients work through.

Skipping this step just leads you to another unhealthy relationship!

3. Take the time to Find What you Love

If you have always wanted to do or try something, now is the time! Maybe you wanted to learn to play the piano, always wanted to try acting, take up golf or try to learn a new skill. Do it! Seriously take this time to find out what you enjoy and love.

It is time to discover what you truly enjoy, and what lights you up. Make the time to do this and don’t wait until you meet someone to do it. Remember that you are more likely to have a happy relationship when you are happy!

When you master learning something new it also makes you feel good about yourself and will improve your own self-worth. It builds your confidence and that will definitely make you more attractive to the type of person you want to meet.

The best part is when you are able to allow yourself to do the things you love just because you want to, it brings more playfulness and fun into your life. Again, making you so much more dateable!

4. Friendships

Friendships make your life richer and increase your happiness levels. Which then increases your chances of finding a happy relationship.

If you have already got a good group of friends, take the time to make those friendships stronger.

If you find that you need new friends (maybe your friends are in relationships and don’t have as much time) then it is the perfect time to get out and meet some new people.  Take the time to build friendships with like-minded people. That can come from the new groups you join or another way is Meetups.

Meetup operates all around the world and has different groups for a wide range of interests and the best part is most are free. Google them and try a few as you will find different types of people in different groups. You will also find plenty of people in the same situation as you.

Having those strong friendships makes life better.

6. Get Rid of What Doesn’t Work in Your Life

You don’t end up living your best life if you are spending all your time doing things you hate with people who don’t make you feel great.

Get rid of what no longer serves you.  That could be habits/behaviours or people.

If you are in a job you really can’t stand, then look at what you can do to change that. Doing work that you hate year after year will suck the happiness out of your life.

So, will the friends that always drain your energy when you are around them.

Maybe you want to have a healthier lifestyle so it might be time to put in some changes around when you exercise, how much sleep you get and what you eat/drink. 

It is time to start to say no to the things that you don’t want to do.

If it feels overwhelming take one small step at a time.

Start by spending your time with the friends who you feel good around, doing the things that light up your soul not drag you down. I guarantee you will feel happier. 

Conclusion to Complete Me!

Taking the steps to create and live a life that you love will change everything. Instead of waiting for happiness to come to you, you will be doing what it takes to be happy.

Oh, and it’s usually at this time when the right person will come along! The one who will be excited to be part of your happy life.

Either way, you will be happy, right!

Debbie

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