From Dread to Delight: The Secret to Enjoy Dating

Enjoy dating

Do you dread dating and wish you could find a way to enjoy dating? You aren’t alone!

Most days I hear singles complain about dating and tell me how much they hate it. I can understand how you feel as I have been there myself. 

The problem is that hating dating and complaining about it makes it harder to put yourself out there. 

So, let me help you enjoy dating rather than dreading it with 5 simple tips to change the way you see dating. 

5 Tips to Take You from Dread to Delight:

The Secret to Enjoy Dating

1. Be Optimistic, to Enjoy Dating!

It is easy to b*tch about dating, it helps you deal with it. I understand, I have been there. But the b*tching can switch to verbally bashing the opposite sex. Suddenly you find yourself in the trap of thinking that ALL men are a*seholes and ALL women are b*tches or even gold diggers.  That just isn’t true!

Instead of focusing on the bad experiences focus on the good singles you meet and look for more opportunities. What you focus on you will see more of! Being optimistic and positive are attractive, winning qualities that will always make you more successful in life and in your dating life! It will also make you enjoy dating. Be more like sunshine than a dark stormy day!

2. Dating is a numbers game!


I am sure you have heard the cliché dating is a numbers game. It is a cliché because it is true. You need to meet as many people as you can to find the right match for you. If you are only meeting 6 singles in a year, it is easy to feel you can’t find a good man or a good woman!

3. Realistic Dating Expectations Help You Enjoy Dating

This one is important. I am going to direct this one at women because I see way too many of my clients fall into this trap. You need to be wise enough to know that one good date does not mean you have found the ‘one’ or that you are starting your dream relationship. Instead, you need to wait to see if he texts, calls and keeps making time to see you. Believe me when I tell you that the man who wants a relationship with you, will leave you in no doubt that is what he wants. You won’t feel the level of anxiety you feel with unavailable men. Don’t settle for crumbs, be clear about what YOU need in a relationship. Let the person’s actions match their words. This allows you to enjoy dating.

I want you to know that it takes time to get to know who someone is. Have the wisdom to not fall in love too quickly or get your hopes up early in the dating process. The reality is you need to go on six to 12 dates to know if they are a good match for you. 

Look for consistency in their actions. That they continue to pursue you, follow up and do what they say they are going to do. This should be part of how you decide if someone is right for YOU. If they don’t make time to see you don’t continually hang in there, hoping they will change. Cut your losses and move one to someone who can.

4, Enjoy the Process

Take each date for what it is, a chance to meet a new person. Enjoy that experience without projecting into the future!  You might go on one date or three dates or might marry them but what you need to do is be capable of enjoying the moment without imagining what the future will be. Believe it or not, this will allow you to enjoy dating.

When you take the pressure off that first date and have fun meeting new people it allows you to relax. It lets you have good conversations, laugh and even learn something new (all of these things have their own value outside of dating).  Instead of focusing on the outcome you are in the moment!  

This will make a huge difference and make you stand out from all those people who bring the energy of dreading or disliking dating.  You need to realise that what you are feeling your date will feel too! So, if you go out thinking dating is like a 2nd job you hate, the people you date will feel that too. If it is tedious for you, it will be for them too!

5. Things Don’t Always Work Out & That’s OK

Dating is a process to find someone you are compatible with. Sometimes you will decide the other person is not a good fit and other times they will decide you are not a good fit. Yes, it is disappointing when you finally find someone you like and they don’t return your feelings. Yet, the real honest truth is the right person won’t disappear. So, that just means they are NOT your person.  The right person is still out there.

Every person you meet brings you one step closer to the right one for you! Imagine if you knew you would meet the right person after 20 dates. You would joyfully go into each one, knowing you are closer to the one. Having this way of thinking makes it so much easier to enjoy dating.

If you Still Struggle to Enjoy Dating

It might be time to get some help! As a Dating & Relationship Coach that this exactly what I do for my clients every single day! I also know first-hand how to enjoy dating and that helps. In fact, I went from enjoying dating to enjoying the right relationship for me! That could be you too! Why not give me a call and see how we can work together?

Debbie, Relationship Coach

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