Does love should happen by chance?
You you believe that love should just happen by chance without any effort on your part?
Do you follow the cliche that – ‘Love should happen when you least expect it?’
Then feel frustrated that it hasn’t happened?
Everywhere you go you are surrounded by romantic movies, songs and books that tell you that you will magically meet your one true, love lock eyes, fall in love and life happily ever after.
Singles tell me they are leaving love to fate, destiny or chance and it will just happen when they least expect it. Yet feel frustrated that it doesn’t!
Let’s look at the definition of fate and destiny:
Fate – That which is inevitably determined, destiny.
Destiny – The inevitable or necessary fate, to which a particular person is destined, one’s lot. Also – A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human control.
After looking at the meanings of these words do you really believe that the person of your dreams has been predetermined and this choice is beyond your control? That is will happen by chance!
Let me make a comparison, when you want to buy a new car do you believe the new car is predetermined or should happen by chance?
That would be crazy wouldn’t it?
You would go and look for the car that you want, oh and there may be more than one car you could see yourself in! You don’t think you are just going to bump into your car, you will actually go looking for the perfect car and usually you won’t limit yourself to one place to buy your new car from. I am sure that you would look in the newspaper, various publications, online, car yards, etc, etc. I don’t think you would really worry too much where you got the car from as long as it was what you were looking for and at the right price.
Why do you treat love or meeting the right person differently?
That person rarely knocks at your door. There may be Uber Eats but there isn’t Uber Love! Love rarely happens by chance! If you want to meet someone you need to get off the couch and go and meet people. Just like when you want a new car you go to lots of different places the same applies to meeting single people.
Think of all the people you have ever meet in life, the number of people you could see yourself in a relationship and it is not as high as you might think. People say it is a numbers game because it really is.
Don’t lose heart or get disappointed because you really only need to meet that one special person and I want to let you know the person you are looking for is also looking for you!
This is What you Can Do
Be clear about what you want in a relationship. This should be about how you want to feel rather than superficial, physical characteristics. Understand what you need to make you happy.
2. Let Go of the Past
Let go of your old love stories and of what didn’t work in the past. True, wonderful love is possible – regardless of your age, where you are in life or how much money you have. Life really can be better with the right person.
3. Value Yourself
Know that you are worth it. Time to have healthy boundaries and trust yourself.
4. Get rid of the myth that you will find love by chance when you least expect it!
5. Have fun
Instead of getting anxious and uptight about finding the right person, it is time to stop stressing and bring fun back to dating! Look at connecting with other singles rather than being so fixated with them being the one! It changes the energy you bring to dating.
6. Get Out of the House
Go out with friends and family, ask your friends to introduce you to any single friends. Try speed dating and singles events – this is a great place to meet genuine singles. Internet dating is also one place that is full of singles, it may be like searching for a needle in a haystack but remember even if 90% of the people only are not right for you, you only need to meet that one person.
7. Be Present
Be present in life, make eye contact with people when you are out and about. Be brave strike up a conversation, it will get easier with time.
Try something different, after all you may just find what you are looking for.
8. Get Support
When you are not experiencing the success you want finding what you are looking for, get support. Sometimes it is just about a gap, a block or a blind spot and the solution comes easy with the support of someone who helps singles just like you every day.